Jonah
by Peripheral Vision
Summary: The nature of Zanarkand and heros before their time. Spoilers, but only if you know what you're looking for.


Blood and ashes--time burning   
On the skyline dark against the stars   
A solitary horseman--waiting  
Lashed to the wheel   
Whipping into the storm   
Get up, Jonah  
It's your time to be born.  
-- Bruce Cockburn  
  
  
****  
  
When Tidus remembers his dreams they have been about water.  
Tonight he is remembering even as he is dreaming which would feel  
strange except it doesn't. He is on his back, floating in a green-blue sea  
(he can taste salt in his mouth). The sun is beating down on his closed  
eyes, not unpleasantly, just giving him something to focus on besides  
the gentle resistance of water beneath his hands. There is water below  
him and above him; he is by himself but not alone, and the current of  
the tide hums in his ears.  
  
When Tidus wakes up, he finds he has been crying.  
  
****  
  
By the time he gets out of bed, Auron is in the kitchen, frying eggs.  
There's a glass of orange juice on the counter even though Tidus  
knows he had finished the last carton two days ago. He yawns at Auron  
by way of greeting and plops down at the table, still in his boxers. It's  
only Auron after all, and Tidus only ever feels naked when his tan  
fades.  
  
Auron doesn't acknowledge the blitzer until the eggs are off the frying  
pan and on a plate, and then only by sliding the dish across the table to  
the boy and setting down a glass of juice to Titus' right with a weighty  
thunk. He leans back in a chair and crosses his arms, staring at Tidus  
expectantly.  
  
The blond scratches the back of his neck, still yawning. "You know I  
don't eat breakfast."  
  
"That's why you're too thin. Eat."  
  
Tidus gives up and stabs through the yoke with his fork. He doesn't  
feel like arguing today. They're pretty decent eggs he guesses, although  
he's not sure what good eggs are supposed to taste like or if there's  
even such a thing as a really well done egg.  
  
Auron's still staring at him while he eats, and for once Tidus doesn't  
mind because he knows why. The old guy is like a big nasty stray  
tomcat most of the time, showing up whenever he damned well pleases  
to glower at Tidus like the blitzer was his property and not living up to  
the investment before he saunters off again for who knows how long,  
but there has been always one day of the year he comes without fail.  
  
Now there are two.  
  
"I'm gonna visit her," Tidus says, chewing. "After practice. You wanna  
come?"  
  
Auron shakes his head. "She wouldn't appreciate my respects. Nor do I  
owe her them."  
  
Tidus shrugs and carries his plate to the sink. Auron's gaze itches at the  
back of his neck. "Look, I'm fine," he says over the rush of the water.  
"You can go and do...whatever it is you do."  
  
"You seem...distant."  
  
Tidus puts the dry plate back in the cupboard. "Just sleepy. Had one of  
those dreams you don't really want to wake up from, you know?" He  
hear Auron chuckle dryly. "What's so funny?"  
  
"What can you possibly dream about?" Emphasis on the 'you'.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tidus shoots back, smoothing a  
crease in his uniform. Auron doesn't answer, and Tidus heads to the  
door, stomping a little.  
  
"Don't you usually bring flowers?" Auron says, which is as much of an  
apology as Tidus is going to get.  
  
"Yeah. I always do." He nods to the bouquet still wrapped in plastic  
misty with condensation in his hand, a little puzzled.  
  
Something flashes in Auron's good eye and then is gone again. "My  
mistake."  
  
****  
  
It's a small graveyard for such a large city, but Tidus never wonders  
how so many bodies could fit into such a tiny space. It's just something  
that /is/, like the color of the sky is the color of the sky which he  
doesn't question either.  
  
"Hey, Mom," he says, putting the flowers next to the tombstone, not in  
front of it where the body is buried because he's kneeling there. "It's  
me again. I'm doing okay. I'm playing for the Abes now. I know they  
weren't your favorite team, but...yeah. The other guys are okay, I  
guess. I'm pretty famous now -- ten people stopped me to ask for my  
autograph on my way here. Four of them were girls so my weekend's  
pretty full." He runs out of words so suddenly it takes him a moment to  
remember to inhale. He stares at his hands.  
  
"I miss you," he confesses. "But I don't know if I miss you as much as  
I should. Everything's so busy now -- everything's going my way, you  
know? But it doesn't feel...right. Not that I don't deserve it or  
anything, just that..." Tidus tugs a piece of hair over his eyes, sighing.  
"Whatever. It's nothing. I only think stupid stuff like this when Auron  
is around."  
  
He does not look back to see if the grave is still there once he has  
turned away.  
  
****  
  
He sits in the stadium stands and watches the field being filled up for  
tomorrow's game. It's pretty here at night with the globe all lit up  
inside like some...big, lit up fish bowl.  
  
Yeah, Tidus sure is one hell of a poet.  
  
It'll take a few hours for the crew to fill it up completely and even then  
players aren't allowed inside the arena six hours until the game. Tidus  
rests his chin on his chest and sighs. He would like to swim, but just  
watching the water soothes him enough to get by.  
  
As a blitzer, Tidus has always been better in the water than with the  
ball. It had taken him practice to become a master handling the latter;  
the first had come naturally. He's at home in the water.  
  
Might as well grow a damn pair of gills and get it over with, Jecht had  
said once.  
  
Tidus supposes it's only natural that he's a little sad today. But he  
thinks that deep down maybe it's those dreams that really make him  
sad, the idea of an endless ocean beneath an endless sky when all he has  
ever known is this stadium.  
  
Tidus' life is in the water. He just wishes Zanarkand had more of it.  
  
****  
  
"What are you still doing here?"  
  
Auron hasn't even moved from the kitchen table. His scar stands out  
strangely in the half-life. "You never answered my question."  
  
"I didn't?" For some reason, Tidus refrains from snapping that Auron  
sure as hell had never answered any of /his/.  
  
"What do you dream about?"  
  
Tidus groans. It's been a long day and Auron's being...well, Auron.  
Why did he ever give the man a key to his apartment, anyway? He had,  
hadn't he? He couldn't quite remember. Maybe he did.  
  
Whatever. It doesn't matter. Just answer the stupid question and Auron  
will go away. "I dreamt about the ocean, I think."  
  
At that Auron looks up sharply. "You /think/. You think you dream  
about the ocean."  
  
"Okay, so I /do/ dream about the ocean," Tidus opens the refrigerator  
looking for orange juice, remembers he's out and closes it again.  
"What's it to you?"  
  
"Tidus," Auron says, so softly it is a threat. "How do you know what  
the ocean /is/?"  
  
"It's...it's the /ocean/." He's distinctly uncomfortable now, shifting his  
weight from foot to foot. "Don't be stupid. Everyone-"  
  
"Zanarkand's only source of water is the lake that feeds the stadium,"  
Auron says. "At all. So how, Tidus, /do you know/?"  
  
"Who cares?" Tidus shouts. There's a whine threaded in his voice that  
he winces at hearing. "Who gives a damn? I-"  
  
Auron is advancing now, reminding Tidus of a time when the man had  
been much taller than the blond had been, and terrifying. "You should  
care. You should care very much. Don't you ever think it's odd that  
whatever authorities there are here let a teenager live by himself? Make  
a living at a dangerous sport? /Are/ there authorities at /all/ here?"  
There is something much older than rage in his voice, something much  
more tired.  
  
Tidus, confused, says, "Yeah there are. There's a-"  
  
Auron brushed away whatever he was going to say, as if it wasn't  
worth the older man's time to hear him out. "Of course there are, now  
that you're thinking about it."  
  
Strangely enough, that hurts. "Auron, I don't understand..."  
  
Auron meets his eyes then turns away again with a small shake of his  
head, all the intensity gone, only the weariness left. "Forgive me. It's  
not my place to speak of such things. I suppose I'm just getting tired of  
waiting for you to wake up."  
  
He leaves after that.  
  
****  
  
When he dreams there is a world of only green and blue and sunlight  
playing off the breakers like laughter, and the warmth of the water and  
the sky coming together to form the horizon and hold him there.  
  
Time enough, the current murmurs. We are so tired, but we will give  
you time to rest before the storm breaks. It is not right to give the  
reward before the sacrifice, but it is the most we can do. Don't cry.  
Rest for now.  
  
And Tidus closes his eyes and floats in the dreaming.  
  
  
  
  
Notes: Song call shamelessly stolen from the Technomancers  
(www.mancer.net) because it fit too perfectly for me not to use it. I've  
claimed many songs for various aspects of Final Fantasy X but none  
that corresponded with the subject matter of this fic. 


End file.
